VOICEOVER (VO): It's the nation's favorite antiques experts... Let's get fancy.

VO: ..behind the wheel of a classic car.

I'm always in turbo.

VO: And a goal - to scour Britain for antiques.

Hot stuff!

VO: The aim - to make the biggest profit at auction.

IZZIE: (GASPS) VO: But it's no mean feat.

There'll be worthy winners... PHIL: Cha-ching.

MARK: Oh, my goodness!

VO: ..and valiant losers.

DAVID: Bonkers!

VO: Will it be the high road to glory... You are my ray of sunshine.

NATASHA: Oh, stop it!

VO: ..or the slow road VO: to disaster?

(GEARS CRUNCH) Sorry!

VO: This is Antiques Road Trip.

Yeah!

We're in the Lake District.

# Baby, I feel good # From the moment I rise... # NATASHA (NS): Ah, this is so lovely.

# ..Feel good from morning # Till the end of the day... # VO: It's a brand spanking new trip... # Till the end of the day... # VO: ..with auctioneering hotshots Natasha Raskin Sharp and Philip Serrell.

Code name, Giggles.

# We do as we please, yeah # From morning # Till the end of the day.

# PHIL (PS): Do you prefer Natasha or Tash?

NS: Tash.

I like Tash.

PS: Tash.

Cuz I've always called you Tash.

My parents call me Tish-Tash-Tosh.

Tish-Tash-Tish?

NS: At school I was... PS: Bim-Bam-Bosh.

NS: ..Mustafa.

(LAUGHS) PS: Why were you Mustafa?

NS: No, this is good, you'll like this.

I don't know, kind of like Lion King.

It's better than Mustache-a.

VO: Certainly is.

What about Grandmaster Tash?

Our happy explorers are in the zippy MGB Roadster, from 1972.

This car is a dream.

I should have brought a CD.

Yeah, see dese, see dose?

See dem?

NS: (CHUCKLES) VO: King of the dad jokes, Philip.

That's right, well, I hope that's right.

I love you, Phil.

VO: An auctioneer head honcho for three decades, Phil is an authority on Worcester porcelain.

He also has a knack for turning almost anything into a coffee table, ah!

You could have four legs of a coffee table, there, PS: couldn't you?

VO: I told you so.

Fellow auctioneer Tish-Tash-Tosh, I mean, Natasha, is an expert in the art world.

But anything quirky will catch her eye.

Look at all this stuff.

Look at that lantern!

VO: To kick off this fun-filled fandango, they each have £200.

PS: What people don't realize, actually, that we're good mates, aren't we?

NS: No.

PS: We're not?

NS: No.

PS: I thought we were.

It's nice to say that to people... PS: Really?

NS: ..but let's get the truth NS: out there.

PS: I've been telling everybody PS: we are good mates.

NS: No, I'd like to tell...

I'd like to be completely honest and tell people that... PS: That's it then.

NS: ..we are enemies, frankly.

Yeah, I think it's going to be a long week, actually.

PS: (LAUGHS) VO: You big joker, Tasha.

We're on the Four Nations Tour.

We begin in Keswick and continue onwards to the Scottish borders, then a run around the west coast of Scotland, a snuffle around Northern Ireland, with a final showdown in Wrexham.

(CHUCKLES) How's that?

How do you feel about ferns?

Uh, yeah, I... Where the... Where has that come from?

Well, I can never decide if I like ferns or not.

I like to watch them unfurl.

NS: (LAUGHS) VO: Fascinating, Tash.

Today, we're scooting around Cumbria, shopping our way to Brampton.

But we kick off with Natasha in Keswick.

In the heart of the Lake District lies this little treasure trove.

Maysons, this is one.

VO: Lots of eye pleasers in here, a feast of antique, vintage and retro.

Cool-looking place.

We're in Keswick, so when you're in this neck of the woods, it's quite nice to keep an eye out for arts and crafts, there was a great school of arts and crafts here, a great movement.

Here is a chamber stick, really sweet.

I would have this at home any day of the week.

This might make its way to my chamber.

(CHUCKLES) But I don't think it's going to make its way to the auction.

Lovely as it is, it's quite generic.

But, what I am enjoying...

I mean, £48 is too much, because without, you know, a signature, a monogram, without someone's initials to really elevate this, it's worth 15, 20, 25 at auction.

I mean, I definitely could cut around my flat imitating Wee Willie Winkie with this.

Absolutely gorgeous.

VO: Whatever floats your boat, girl.

While Natasha browses on, young Philip is a hop, skip and a jump away, also in Keswick.

This business has been on the go for over 20 years.

Armed with 200 smackers, what will the Serrell be drawn to in here?

What I love about this shop is there's all sorts of interesting things.

I mean, look at these here.

That's a fantastic set of 18th century brass nutcrackers.

Big enough for nutcrackers?

Well, yeah, they are, cuz these are for hazelnuts, you know?

And, back in the day, those were just really lovely things that an 18th century gentleman would have had in his pocket.

Walk out on his walk, pick up a hazelnut or a cobnut.

VO: You're such a romantic, Phil.

And there you go.

£85.

It's not dear, compared to about 10 or 15 years ago, cuz these things were about £150, £200.

But, today, sadly they're 25 quid.

VO: Nice bit of social history.

What else?

PS: I love that.

So that... is a 19th century knitting sheath.

VO: Easy for you to say.

PS: But what you did with this... was stuffed it under the arm like that and you would put your knitting needle in here and then you'd knit with your fixed needle and your right hand.

And then, with your left hand, you were left free to go and do something else.

VO: This is referred to as a goose wing knitting sheath because the curved lower half resembles a bird's wing.

People talk about patina.

Patina is not polish.

Patina is the muck, grime and grease off your hands.

VO: What happened to all the romance, Phil?

So when you're holding something like that, you know, and you can almost hear it, that stickiness.

That's off my hands, coming on to here.

And that polishes it and that gives it patina.

VO: £75 is the ticket price.

I'm drawn to daft bits of wood... VO: Oh, he loves that cabinet.

..and that is, undoubtedly, a daft bit of wood.

That, to me, looks like it's a wheel that you'd crimp the edge of a pie with.

So you'd run this round your pastry... ..and it just... crimps it.

VO: No ticket price on that one.

If I bought that with the knitting sheath, it gives me an option of perhaps either splitting them, or putting them as one lot in the auction.

I'm going to put those two together and come back and have a look.

VO: While Phil ponders... ..let's nip over to Tash.

This is quite big, actually.

That's a nice big planter.

So the first things that spring to mind are these little lion masks are missing their rings.

I have lots of plants at home.

Do I care if they're missing their rings?

I don't think so.

There's a Viking ship on it.

It makes me think, could it be Scottish?

Obviously, up north in Scotland, we're closer to Orkney and that sort of Viking territory.

But what about Newlyn, down on the south coast and Cornwall, with that open sea?

Could this be Newlyn School arts and crafts?

Could well be.

It's actually just lovely.

VO: Established in Cornwall in the late 19th century, the Newlyn School helped the ailing fishing community, by teaching simple repousse work on metals such as copper and brass.

I'm looking at it closely.

If I can get the cobwebs... (WHISPERS) See, that's good, cobwebs are good.

It's been here for a while.

If I look at it, I think my favorite detail... ..is the seabirds.

They are so lovely, because if you just look at them... How many paintings have you seen where a sea bird is just... ..a stroke and a stroke?

It's just a hint, it's just...

It could be French Impressionism, it could be Camille Corot, it doesn't matter who's doing it, everyone just goes for... the stroke and the stroke.

I've seen Monet do it, OK?

So if he can do it... VO: Precisely.

That's one possible for Natasha.

Meanwhile, just down the road, how's the Serrell getting on?

Tell you what, he is so sweet, isn't he?

I can remember, as a kid, watching a program, which I think was called Daktari, and there was Clarence, the cross-eyed lion, was in it.

I mean, this is what...

Originally, this would have been plush.

But, I mean, he's... Bless him.

He's got the straw coming out of him, just up here.

I mean, I would think this is somewhere between, perhaps, 1900 and 1920.

He's seen better days.

Haven't we all?

Um, but I think he's quite sweet and lovely.

Look at that.

VO: See, Philip is a big softie at heart.

The cutesy lion doesn't have a price.

Stand by, Mark.

Let's start with the 19th century knitting sheath, priced at 75.

What can you do that for, please?

I'll do that for 40 quid, Phil.

What can you do THAT for, please?

VO: No price on the pie jigger.

£20.

What can you do him for, please?

MARK: I like him, I like him, Phil.

I'll do him for 40, for you, Phil.

Sorry, start again, so that's 40... MARK: Yeah.

PS: ..he's 40, that's 20.

So, I'm sharp at maths, that's 100 quid, isn't it?

MARK: Yeah.

PS: What about 80 quid?

Halfway, we'll go 90.

Then I will pay you £90.

VO: That's 55 for the 19th century knitting sheath and pie jigger and 35 for the early 20th century toy lion, leaving Phil with £110, lovely.

Just lovely.

When are you going to say, "Rarr!"

VO: Wild.

Across town, stand by, dealer Karen.

Karen, hi, how are you?

Hi, nice to see you.

Lovely to see you too.

I feel like I unearthed this planter.

A couple of bits are missing.

I am still in love with it, so I'm wondering if you would take an offer of 30?

Um... yes.

NS: Are you sure?

KAREN: Yeah.

Oh, that's great.

KAREN: Absolutely fine.

NS: I really appreciate that.

Thank you so much, I'm really, really grateful.

I think it's a cool thing and I think that Mr Serrell will like it and that's always a nice way to start.

KAREN: (CHUCKLES) NS: Let's take it to auction.

NS: Thanks so much, Karen.

KAREN: Thank you.

Thank you, bye-bye.

VO: Thanks, Karen.

Natasha now has £170.

With Tash off in the car, Phil's staying in Keswick... ..because, back in the 19th century, Robert Southey lived here, a prolific poet, who inspired the heady days of the Romantic movement.

And just how did he pen one of the greatest known children's fairy tales?

Artist Paul Wilmott awaits with excited anticipation, to tell all to Philip.

This is not the sort of graffiti you expect to find in a bus stop, is it?

PAUL: No, not at all.

PS: And who did this?

PAUL: I painted it.

PS: You did it?

I did it.

The reason why it's here, in Keswick, is because Robert Southey published, what he then called, just, The Three Bears... PS: Right.

PAUL: ..and he, actually, was telling this story around 1813... PS: Yeah.

PAUL: ..to his family and friends, and they liked it.

In Southey's version, it wasn't Goldilocks, it was a rather horrible PAUL: old woman... PS: Right.

..that the bears actually throw out and then she's sent to the house of correction.

Blimey, that sounds serious.

It was.

In the second version, a girl appears, called Silver Hair.

The three bears are three male bachelors, PAUL: sharing a pad... PS: Yeah.

..and the old woman destroys it.

VO: Over time, Southey's original tale evolved into the cozier Mummy, Daddy and Baby Bear, with Goldilocks coming in to steal porridge, break a chair and go for a snooze.

The moral, don't be selfish and respect other people's property.

But there's no porridge here, is there?

PAUL: No, there isn't, actually.

But, on the book, I have put the three bowls.

Ah, well, I'll let you off, then, Paul.

That's good enough for me, that's good enough for me.

VO: Robert would become, along with William Wordsworth and Samuel Taylor Coleridge, one of the three Lake Poets, key figures of Romanticism, believing poetry could only be written under mystical inspiration.

PS: You brought me from a bus stop to this rather grand-looking house.

And what's the relevance to this, to our man?

Well, this is...

This is where Robert Southey lived.

He lived here to 1843, when he died.

VO: Originally the home of Southey's great friend and fellow poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Robert and his family came to live here in 1803.

But, shortly afterwards, Coleridge disappeared, leaving his home and family the responsibility of Southey.

What sort of influence did this house, this area, have on our man?

Well, you know, it could be said to be the birth of the Romantic movement.

PAUL: And it is won... PS: It is stunning, isn't it?

PAUL: It is stunning.

PS: Yeah.

VO: Robert Southey's experimental poetry paved the way for writers, such as Lord Byron, Shelley, and Tennyson.

Could you earn a living from writing, in those days?

You could.

But, of course, the great thing which happened to him, on that basis, was he became Poet Laureate.

I can't remember how much you got, but it'd be something like 10...

In today's money, around £15,000, £20,000 a year.

VO: Southey never intended to live here permanently.

But for this Bristolian, the beauty of Cumbria held him here until the day he died.

PS: And he's buried locally somewhere, is he?

He is buried in Crosthwaite Church.

And a lovely story is, he wrote the History of Brazil, because he was an expert, he could talk Portuguese.

And it was so good that the Brazilian government were astounded and they still, to this very day, pay for the upkeep of his grave.

PS: That's fantastic.

PAUL: It's fantastic.

VO: It certainly is.

Robert Southey was a true polymath.

And here, at the town's museum, they honor the man who was so pivotal in one of the biggest artistic movements of the 19th century.

Nicola Lawson is the curator.

PS: So that's the man.

That's the man himself.

He's a, kind of, good-looking dude, isn't he?

He's a fantastic-looking guy.

All of his writing was influenced by the local landscape and places that he would have gone, with his children and his family.

And he really loved writing for small children and that's where The Three Bears comes in.

So it's almost like their bedtime stories?

Yes, it would have been.

VO: Before we leave, I think it's only right Philip puts on his best Daddy Bear voice. "

'Somebody has been lying in my bed,' "said the great, huge bear, "in his great, rough, gruff voice."

Isn't that brilliant?

NICOLA: It's wonderful isn't it?

PS: Yeah, it is.

VO: Now, where's Tash?

Phil and I went out for the first time seven years ago, and, in that time, have built a really lovely friendship.

Maybe the secret of our successful friendship is the fact that Phil always wins.

Let's win this thing and never speak to him again.

VO: Blimey.

We're off to pretty Penrith.

But, today, Tash is on a mission to buy... NS: Eclectic, excellent, excellent.

Hello.

VO: ..in here, at this swish little set-up.

Oh, it really is eclectic.

VO: There truly is a wonderful mix of antique delights in here.

Let the browse commence.

Natasha has £170 to splash.

Ah, that's bad luck.

I was hoping that, when I flipped that over, it would be signed Charlotte Rhead.

That is very much in the style of Charlotte Rhead, very '30s.

She was known for her tube lining.

And, if you look closely at it, it's essentially the same technique as piping icing onto a cake.

VO: Pity it's not an original.

Let's move on.

I never really buy brown furniture.

Whenever I do, I get stung, horribly stung.

But I think this is quite an interesting pot cupboard.

Very handy, by the by, before flushing toilets were the norm.

VO: In basic terms, this would have been a posh person's en suite.

Ha!

Very practical.

This one dates from around the mid-Victorian period.

NS: Of course, of course, you weren't dealing with the mess, your staff would do just that.

And I like it a lot, and I don't know if I like or dislike the fact that there isn't a ticket price.

VO: Will it be a number one, or number two find, for Tash?

(CHUCKLES) Perhaps a nice little stool next?

NS: That's quite sweet.

Red leather.

Oh, that's cute, actually.

Look, there's even a little crispy and ripped £1 note.

How sweet is that?

But, yes, a little money box.

The ones that are actually... ..this shape and you open them like this and they're little miniature safes and, therefore, you can apply the word "novelty", can sell for £150, £250, because they're novelty, they're Victorian and they're ever so dinky and sweet.

But, actually, this is a nice thing for somebody who's maybe getting into coin collecting.

This would be a nice gift, because I've already seen the price on the base, £22.

VO: Along with the non-priced mid-Victorian pot cupboard, let's go and spend some pennies, with Peter.

(CHUCKLES) So what do you want for the pot cupboard?

£40.

NS: For... Are you for real?

PETER: For real.

NS: It's got to be worth more than that, don't you think?

Ah...

It IS a pot cupboard.

Let's go with that, Peter.

Thank you.

And, then, the other item is a little money box.

It is marked up at £22, there is a ticket price on that and I'm not going to twist your arm too much, but... could it be 20?

PETER: It could be 20.

NS: That's really kind of you.

Thank you so much.

OK, 40 plus 20, it's 60.

I bought a pot cupboard, but I'm still flush.

VO: (CHUCKLES) She now has £110 left.

Done.

The bulky mid-Victorian pot cupboard will be sent on to the auction.

Tonight, the drinks are on you, right?

PS: I'm sorry?

NS: The drinks are on you.

PS: Oh, right.

NS: I mean, we've established that over the years.

You always... Yeah, I've got a new name for you.

NS: What's that?

PS: Teetotal Tash.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Ah, nighty-night.

Wakey-wakey.

We're in Cumbria.

What's going on?

Why is the roof up?

We're in this lovely car with the drop top, there's no rain.

Blow my hair off.

(LAUGHS) Oh, right.

Oh, no, you're not being sweet because I've done my hair, are you?

No... Yeah.

NS: Aw!

(CHUCKLES) PS: You know me.

VO: Looking swish, Tish-Tash-Tosh... ..whatever your name is.

Yesterday, Natasha had plenty of pep, buying a large arts and crafts planter, a late-Victorian money box and a mid-Victorian pot cupboard, as you do.

I'm gonna say, do you know the one?

But of course you know the one.

VO: Indeed.

Natasha has £110 still to spend.

Thank you so much, take care.

DEALER: Thank you.

VO: While Philip...

I'm drawn to daft bits of wood.

VO: ..was fizzing with energy, too.

He bought the combo lot of the 19th century knitting sheath and the pie wheel jigger, plus the 20th century little lion toy.

Roar!

He has the exact same as Tash, i.e.

£110.

I bought a little plush lion.

NS: Oh, a plush... PS: Yeah, a little toy lion.

Do you know, when things get battered, they get cute?

PS: Do not... NS: Like you.

Shut it.

I was waiting for that.

Just shut it.

NS: You set them up... PS: That was so predictable.

..I'll knock them away!

You're better than that.

You're better than that.

VO: Phil... cute?

I'm not so sure.

Today our chummy-wummies are swanning about Cumbria.

But with Tash dropped off elsewhere, Phil is pointed towards High Hesket to this lovely establishment... ..festooned with delights and treasures everywhere.

Let the proceedings begin.

Oh, look at him.

Isn't he sweet?

Look.

Isn't he just lovely?

Little terrier.

I'm a huge terrier fan.

Always have been.

Love little terriers.

And what would be really nice, if this was in cold-painted bronze, which it isn't.

So, this is just a base metal that's been painted.

I mean, the thing is, how can you resist that look?

Doesn't he look lovely?

VO: He's like you, Phil!

PS: It's an ashtray.

And I would think this is probably 1950s, something like that.

So, we are of a similar vintage.

Who's worn better?

VO: One of you is a bit rough and ready.

Ha.

And it's not Wooffles.

So, the ticket price is £45.

You know, for me to do any good with that at all, I've got to and try and buy that for 20-25 quid.

Just going to have a word and see what we can do.

VO: Stand by, Andrew.

PS: The key thing is... ..he's got to be a cheap terrier.

Right.

It's... 45.

See, I was hoping I could buy that for, like, 15 or 20 quid, really.

That would be my tops, I think.

We'll go for 20.

PS: Really?

Are you sure?

DEALER: Yeah.

You're a gentleman.

Pleased with that.

He's just got a cute look, hasn't he?

Yeah, if you like dogs.

Oh.

Well, thanks for that, Andrew.

VO: We love dogs.

Philpot now has £90 remaining.

How sweet is he?

Look at him.

You be...

Sit!

VO: Oh, he's very obedient.

PS: That's dog training for you.

Stay.

VO: Natasha is 10 miles up the road in Carlisle.

Despite being a fortress town, besieged by borderland warring factions, this area has deep foundations in early Christianity.

For over 900 years, Carlisle Cathedral has served as a powerhouse of prayer.

In 1122, King Henry I wanted an imposing symbol of authority to calm the turbulent Scottish border.

But what exists today tells another story.

Natasha is meeting with cathedral guide Keith Beattie.

NS: And was Henry I successful?

Is that what did it, this became officially for evermore England?

It did indeed.

And the cathedral played a very important part in the history of this part of the world, and has suffered along with the area and has profited, at times.

VO: 200 years later, the artistry of staining glass was flourishing.

The east window here is pulsating with vibrant colors, and the design dates from the 14th century.

At over 50 feet high and nearly 30 feet wide, it is one of the largest and most complex windows of its type surviving in England today.

How much of this window here is original?

Well, the top third in the tracery at the top, and it's the tracery that makes this window a famous window.

And when you say tracery, you're talking about the architecture that's surrounding and interwoven NS: within the window?

KEITH: Yes.

And this is a design by a guy called Ivo de Raughton, and he was a very famous window manufacturer in the 14th century, and he has a trademark, which is that nice leaf pattern in the center.

And so it's great to tell people now that that's still 14th century glass, although the nine lancet windows are Victorian glass.

Well, that's alright.

I mean, to have anything remaining is incredible.

VO: This is an outstanding example of decorated Gothic, which can also be found in cathedrals such as York Minster and Lincoln.

KEITH: Decorative Gothic, of course, is very pointed.

Ivo de Raughton used 260 points to design his window.

No computers, just his fingers and toes.

Very clever.

VO: Indeed.

Medieval stained glass is a precious rarity the Victorians tried to sensitively restore in the late 1800s.

KEITH: The Victorians were very true to the original design of the window.

So, we have the Nativity, Jesus's miracles, the Crucifixion and the Resurrection.

So, it is true to its original form.

VO: A spectacular display of talent and skill.

But it was also an important teaching tool.

KEITH: Lots of people at that time couldn't read or write so I liken these things to sort of medieval PowerPoint presentations.

NS: (CHUCKLES) I like that!

KEITH: They tell stories.

VO: Next on the agenda is a bit of a musical interlude.

Alright.

Gently.

(BELLS RING) The cathedral has a ring of 13 bells.

NS: The hair is up.

Safety first.

VO: Now, bell ringer Barry is going to help Tasha learn the ropes.

OK. (BELL RINGS) You are actually ringing this bell.

Am I?

It doesn't feel like I'm doing very much, Barry.

But you shouldn't be, you see, because it shouldn't be so physical.

OK?

Interestingly, it's almost getting heavier.

Is that right?

Would that be right?

It's maybe just you getting tired.

BARRY: (CHUCKLES) NS: Oh, is that what it is?

I haven't been in the gym enough.

Pull right at the bottom.

That's it.

Now, that's the difference, you see?

Ah, it is!

Oh, I'm feeling it in my biceps.

That's perfect.

VO: Well done, Natasha.

You were the belle of the ball!

Before we leave...

It's hard to resist looking up at this ceiling.

Is this one of the cathedral's most fascinating features?

I find it so.

The whole point of being in a space like this is to relax and rest and enjoy the peace.

And so, to mark our 900th anniversary, we're doing this Rest Under The Stars concept, which people are finding very popular.

And it allows you the time in our busy lives just to take a step back and chill.

Well, let's just sit back and relax, Keith, and contemplate.

This has been incredible.

Thank you so much for the education.

It's been my pleasure.

VO: Oh, look, there's Phil.

Natasha's explained this commode to me two or three times, and if it's as good as she thinks, I could be in it.

And if it's not that good, she could be in it.

VO: Don't mince your words, Phil.

Brampton is next on his shopping list.

Cumbrian Antiques Centre is housed in the majesty of this late 19th century church hall.

With a heavenly £90 left in his wallet, let's see what he finds in here.

But these are finger carrots, and I love these.

These are made out of boxwood, 19th century.

And what you do is, you unscrew that... ..and then you fill that with talcum powder, screw it back up again.

And then your Edwardian lady, she would have got her very tight chamois gloves.

And you unscrew that end, and you stick that little bit down the glove, like that, shake the talcum powder out, and it just makes it easier to fit the glove on the lady's hand.

Finger carrots.

VO: Whatever next?

Toe turnips?

Seriously, that's a nice thing.

But it's not quite what Philip is looking for today.

NS: Right, so, Phil's already here.

Head start, as always.

NS: For this final shopping foray, she has £110.

Oh, look at this place.

Look at all this stuff.

Look at that lantern... No, I can't afford anything...!

When I was a kid, I used to love marbles.

They were just such good fun, weren't they?

You got glass marbles here, air twist marbles.

Marble marbles!

You know.

VO: You've lost yours, mate.

The thing is, marbles can be hugely collectable.

I mean, they really can be.

You can have 18th century marbles that are worth money.

Are these 18th century?

I haven't got the first idea.

But there's enough of them.

There are marble buyers out there.

And a lot of people have said to me that I've lost mine many a time.

VO: Yep, including me.

Below!

I was wondering where you are.

NS: How are you?

PS: I'm good.

How are you?

(CHUCKLES) I'm fine.

Isn't this a great shop?

It's a fantastic shop.

I mean, you want three days to look round this shop, I tell you.

Do you know any Romeo And Juliet off the top of your head?

"Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?"

VO: Juliet's got a very deep voice.

I was thinking, "Parting is such sweet sorrow, "I'll say goodnight until it's morrow."

Oh, "I must go down to the sea again, "to the lonely sea in the sky."

I'm coming to get you.

"I left my vest and pants there.

I wonder if they're dry."

VO: (CHORTLES) Not quite ready for Stratford-upon-Avon yet, you two!

He-he!

Just keep mooching.

NS: I just think these are quite fun, and I have a penchant at the moment for finding items in the corner, covered in cobwebs.

So, nice and cobwebby.

Good sign.

£25.

The best thing about it is this little lyre.

It is Apollo's lyre.

He made sweet music.

He wants to serenade you.

In fact, hear it, and you'll undoubtedly fall in love.

It's probably 100 years old.

That's officially an antique.

It'll do.

I think that's how I would describe this music stand.

It will do.

VO: At £25, it is a possible maybe.

So, let Philip Serrell loose in a really good antique shop - and this is a really good antique shop - and we've got wonderful furniture, top quality silver, glassware, porcelain, and I'm going to pick up a fire extinguisher.

How good is that?

VO: Typical Serrell.

This is the Pyrene fire extinguisher.

Well, clearly, it isn't going to work.

This is dated in 1922.

It's got a bit of a dink there.

But these things are quite decorative, you know?

If you've got an old country house, farmhouse kitchen, it's the sort of thing that would sit on a wall.

It's just a kind of decorative thing.

VO: Priced at £29.

Let's go and ask about this and the big basket of marbles, too.

Stand by, Steve.

How are you, my friend?

Alright.

STEVE: Very well, thank you.

PS: That's priced at £29.

STEVE: For you, you can have that for 25.

OK, excellent.

And the marbles?

The vast sum of all the huge collection?

PS: Yeah.

STEVE: £20, the lot.

I'm not even gonna argue with you.

PS: Look, there we go.

STEVE: You're a star.

Thank you.

There's a fiver and there's 20.

STEVE: Thank you.

PS: I'll go and find my marbles and I'm off.

And actually, you know what?

Watch you don't lose them.

VO: Yeah.

Why does everybody steal my jokes?

£45 for the lot.

Thanks, Steve.

This color catches my eye.

It's gorgeous malachite glass.

Very green.

So, malachite's a green mineral in the art-deco period.

These are definitely deco.

How nice that there are two.

How delightful.

And quite often, women are depicted contrapposto.

So, their... all their weight on one leg, and the other leg like this to create a nice S-shape in their form.

The mold of the glass actually follows the contrapposto figures on the vases.

I mean, that's a detail.

That's a lovely detail.

And I like them.

(GLASS CHINKS) Oops!

Oh, careful, careful.

They are glass, after all.

But what I don't see is a ticket price.

VO: Let's ask Steve about them, plus the music stand.

I'm hoping that for £110, which would be me all-in... Hm?

..I could afford vases and stand.

Is that just wild?

No, that's OK. Yeah.

NS: That can be done?

STEVE: Yeah, yeah.

NS: Are you sure?

STEVE: Yeah.

You're a nice lady.

It's a lovely day.

Why not?

(LAUGHS) So, the stars have aligned.

I love it.

I knew that being polite would pay off eventually.

VO: Natasha has spent £100 on the pair of art deco malachite vases, and £10 on the early 20th century music stand, and every penny is gone.

NS: Philip Serrell.

PS: Happy days.

VO: Have you forgotten your goodies, you two?

Do you know, that has gone so quickly, hasn't it?

Well, time flies when you're not just having fun, but you're with someone you love and respect.

PS: I love you, too.

NS: Dearly.

NS: They're a soppy old pair, aren't they?

PS: That's a lovely wall, isn't it?

Three trips down.

On every single trip, you've mentioned walls.

PS: No, because... NS: Do you say this NS: to all the girls?

No, no.

It's my chat-up line.

VO: (CHUCKLES) Shuteye, please.

Our road-tripping best buds are gearing up to watch their very first auction together.

NS: Look at this.

PS: That is special, isn't it?

Red sandstone turrets.

That is absolutely glorious, isn't it?

Really.

Does this feel like a good omen?

Glorious setting, glorious profits?

VO: Built in 1869, Kingsknowe's Hotel is one of the most spectacular buildings in the Scottish borders, originally the home of a local textile-mill owner.

Our pair, after bouncing around the Lake District, are now in the town of Galashiels... ..while their glorious goodies have been packed off to Lytham St Annes in Lancashire... ..to Gerrard's for sale in the room, on the phone and on the net.

The man with the gavel is John Cook.

All finished in the room at 20.

VO: Wonder what's his fave out of Tash's five lots that she blew every single penny of her £200 on.

Yeah, I like the malachite vases, the art-deco.

They're in good condition.

Good size.

There is a pair of them.

VO: Phil also bought five lots, totaling a little bit less, £155.

Thoughts, please, John.

Interesting lot, the marbles.

You can get lucky with them if there are any rare ones in there, large ones, good spirals, twists to them.

They can fetch 10 or £15 each.

There is a big quantity.

I'm hoping they'll do OK. Now, back to the Scottish Baronial mansion in the borders.

PS: Tell me, what is Galashiels famous for?

It has an interesting motto.

PS: What's that?

NS: "Soor Plooms."

PS: What, sour plums?

NS: Sour...

I don't know why.

NS: Don't ask me why.

PS: What sort of motto is that?

Hey, it could be sour grapes after this.

Shall we find out?

VO: Tablets at the ready.

Let's begin.

It's Phil's 1920s brass fire extinguisher.

Would you mount it on kind of hooks?

I'd probably keep it by the fire, just in case.

Oh, don't be so sensible and sad.

JOHN: £10 bid.

Any advance on 10.

12, 14, 16, 18, 20.

At £20.

Phil, it's so close.

£20.

We'll sell at 20.

All finished in the room?

And that, folks, is the first proper loss on this road trip.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Yes.

It didn't fire up the bidders.

I'm probably not going to sleep tonight.

NS: That's it.

PS: Yeah, I'm wrecked.

VO: Natasha's early 20th century music stand is next.

You can just see Nigel Kennedy on the fiddle, can't you?

Well, that's what I was envisaging, actually.

£18.

20 I've got now.

Any advance on 20?

JOHN: All bids in the room... NS: Oh, don't be too fast.

No further interest.

£20.

Although I spent much more on other items, that one, I was thinking... "Natasha, what are you doing?"

"Natasha, why?"

Yeah.

VO: Somebody loved it.

(IMITATES TRUMPET) NS: That's good, though, that that made a profit because... Why did I go like that and make a trumpet noise?

(IMITATES TRUMPET) VO: Yeah, I'd stop now, Phil.

It's now Phil's Airedale Terrier ashtray.

Showing there.

£14.

Any advance on 14?

16, now.

At 16.

18, 20.

Any advance on 20?

No further interest.

£20.

VO: Stay "paws-itive", Phil.

If you take commission into account, it's a tiny loss, NS: isn't it?

PS: Yeah, it is a tiny loss.

VO: It's now Tash's beloved pair of art deco malachite vases.

Showing there.

36, 38, 40, 42, 44, 46, 48, £50, five, £60, five, £70, five, £80, 90... NS: So close!

JOHN: ..five...

So close!

JOHN: 110.

20.

NS: Yes!

Any further interest?

£120.

NS: Oh!

I'm so pleased.

PS: See... Yeah, well, I am, for you, but they deserve more than that.

VO: Agreed.

But every £20 counts.

I would buy it again.

PS: Yeah.

NS: That was fun.

VO: Talking of fun, it's Phil's basket of marbles.

15 years ago, I sold a quantity of marbles, and they made a lot of money.

So, are you just taking a punt?

Yeah.

Every bag of marbles I've sold since has made fourpence.

But there was this one bag that made a lot of money.

Bids there at £30.

Any advance on 30?

Now, I'm fine with that.

Any further interest at £30?

All out, all sure, all finished?

32 on the hammer.

PS: Oh!

JOHN: 32 on the hammer.

At £32.

Any advance?

All out?

JOHN: 34 now.

NS: (SQUEALS) Just woke up.

36.

Back in at £36.

Mate, I'm really happy with that.

You drop your hammer.

All finished?

No further interest.

36.

I'm kind of cool with that.

VO: You should be.

A decent return, Phil.

That lot is exactly why I love what we're doing right now.

PS: Yeah.

NS: Because you've made NS: £16 profit... PS: On a box of marbles.

And it feels like you've won the lottery.

(THEY LAUGH) VO: Let's see if we can keep the profits going.

Tash and the late-Victorian money box next.

Tenner bid.

Any advance on a tenner?

£10.

Any advance on a tenner?

Oh, no, it's actually going to make a loss!

Come on.

Any advance on 10?

12, 14.

£14, will sell.

All out, all sure?

That was the one that I thought, "OK, well, at least I have one profit today."

VO: Not the safe bet you thought, Tash.

I wish I'd just kept that for myself.

VO: Will the crowd go wild for Phil's 20th-century lion?

22, 24.

At £24.

Oh, that's so sad.

£24.

£24.

We'll sell at 24.

NS: That's a shame.

PS: It is.

VO: I thought it would be the MANE attraction.

What's wrong with us?

Because we're both looking at it through NS: two different sets of eyes.

PS: Yeah.

NS: Different generations.

PS: (CLEARS THROAT) NS: Different... PS: What did you just say?

VO: Blimey.

So, will the bidders go potty for Natasha's Victorian pot cupboard?

I think this is really, really lovely.

You can't be scared of this.

No, I am.

I think it's a really good quality thing.

JOHN: Showing there.

18, 20.

£20 bid.

At £20.

22 now.

JOHN: Any advance on 22?

PS: Oh, no.

Oh, no, see?

See?

Any advance on 22?

Any advance, any further interest?

22.

I think you were really, really, really unlucky there.

VO: Yeah, nobody saw the POO-tential.

(CHUCKLES) But we continue on.

We march on.

VO: Philip now with the combo 19th century lot of the knitting sheath and pie jigger.

£18.

At 18.

At 18.

20.

And two now.

At 22, 24, 26, 28, 30, 32, 34, 36, 38, 40, 42, 44, 46, 48, 50, five, 60.

NS: It's a profit.

JOHN: Any advance on 60?

No further interest at 60.

VO: The pie makers and crafters must be on their hols, Phil.

Well, I'm glad you put them together.

I think they helped one another out, actually.

VO: It's the final lot.

Natasha's Newlyn-style planter.

It was just the kind of thing that I would happily have at home.

And I don't think I'm the only one.

Bids of £30, 32, 34, 36.

NS: Good.

JOHN: At £36.

Any advance on 36?

But there must be because it was so beautiful.

Are we all finished, are we all sure at 36?

All finished?

£36.

I cannot tell you how much my heart sang when I found that under a chair covered in dust.

VO: Great find, Natasha.

I think we've both lost money.

But have we lost hope?

No, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no.

PS: Yeah.

NS: Oh!

VO: Natasha began with £200.

After auction costs, she made a bit of a loss, giving her now £173.84 for next time.

While Phil, also starting with the same wodge, made, also after costs, a marginally smaller loss.

Phil now has £176 and 20 pennies, making him the winner by a smidge.

We just need to keep our chins up and get on with it, really.

Is that a reference to my chins?

No, it was a reference to both our chins.

(LAUGHS) PS: Well, we're having some fun, PS: aren't we?

NS: Yeah.

PS: And we're gonna have lots more fun.

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